Dear Picky Eaters,

If someone were to describe a piece of food that is cheap and revolting this would be a good time to turn up that radio or put down that newspaper. Hamburger Helper. Ugh that word gives me chills down my spine just saying it. Hamburger is the kind of rubbish that your mother puts in the microwave for 50 seconds. They take it out and when you put it in your mouth you walk away, go into a corner and start to cry. Your mouth was fine without it but you just had to put that spoon full of darkness into your mouth, turning it sad. There use to be happy days when you ate healthy and actually could keep those tears in because your mouth isn’t bleeding.

Hamburger Helper is why people lose there jobs because they make this gruesome creation. It’s probably made up of cheap cheese coming from a science lab in México. Now to get to the facts this powder they call “cheese” taste like powdery garbage mixed with toilet water to actually make it look like the consistence of melted cheese.

I personally feel ashamed to know that people make this disrupting piece of raw meat and macaroni. That is like mixing peanut butter and pickles. It’s a terrible combination. I would love to meet the person who thought of raw meat and macaroni would even go together. Because of that combination people have to get your stomachs pumped. I don’t know hoe that person goes to sleep at night knowing that his creation is causing people pain instead of the “happiness” he thought shot out of the cardboard box.

After all that hard work you did getting that food you don’t deserve this, go to one of those high quality restaurants and spend your bucks on that! For all I know you can get free entertainment at that restaurant instead of listening to that old banged up television. I have the right to stand up for the people who rather not you have a choice to not eat what ever Hamburger Helper is.

If you choose to go on ahead and put that spoon and suffer like a boy playing dress up with his sister. I would advise you to get your brain checked and figure out what’s up with your noodle! Surely there’s something funny going on up there, maybe a bug with bad taste snuck into your brain and forced you to eat it or maybe your knowledge tube is blocked off yeah that’s what’s wrong! Now that bug is sad because you trouble so when you put that piece of nonsense in your mouth. Go ahead I’m rooting for you go gain those pounds! Suffer while ill be in a recliner in my house video taping you screaming drinking water trying to get that terrible taste out of your mouth. Oh and guess what while you’ll be doing that stuff on a silver platter well be ice cold water and Pepto-Bismol. All you have to do is say yuck that’s all.

Sincerely,

Sydney