John Finn

In the midst of Texas, there lived a baby named John Finn. Now his two older sisters wanted another girl. They were disappointed when John was born.

Just then, John Finn hollered, “I can out-race, out-swim, out-scream, out-see, out-hold, out calculate, and out-smell any baby in Texas.” His mom and dad were flabbergasted.

“You can talk?” questioned John’s mom.

“Sure I can talk. I can beat anybody in anything,” said John proudly. John’s older sisters didn’t believe that.

Then, one of John’s older sisters said, “John, let’s race from here to the next town and back.”

John said, “Sure, I’ll race you. Ready, get set, GO!” John zipped past his sister, went to the next town and back. When John got back, his sister only ran a few feet.

John yelled, “I’ll meet you at home!” Finally, John’s sister came back and collapsed.

“Come on, let’s go for a swim!” shouted John.

“I’m too tired,” said John’s sister. So John went swimming by himself. He held his breath for two hours and didn’t surface. Then, one of John’s older sisters thought that John had died. Suddenly, John popped out of the water juggling 20 trout.

“Let’s fry these for dinner!” John shouted. John continued to astonish people throughout his childhood. At two, he beat the smartest teachers in a math competition. At four, he beat the fastest swimmers in the state. At seven, John lifted 1,000 pounds and beat the strongest weightlifters around. When he was nine, he said that he was ready for new adventures. John set out west, going to California. When he got there, people were crowding around John.

“Excuse me, pardon me,” said John.

“Can we have your autograph?” yelled someone in the crowd.

“Why, sure,” said John. Suddenly, the ground shook wildly. More people were coming for autographs!

“Go away!” screamed John. Rumble, rumble.

John said, “What’s that? Oh. There’s a big crack near Mississippi!” Now everybody knows that the crack is the Mississippi River. Water flowed through the crack and formed the Mississippi River. John decided that he wanted to see the river, and he did. He traveled from California to the river. When he got there, a giant desert snake attacked John! They wrestled and wrestled all day. John thought that the battle would never end, but it did. John grabbed the snake and squeezed it until every drop of poison dropped out. Then, John collected the poison for a rabbit that was very sick. John gave the rabbit the poison and it suddenly became better.

“Well that’s a relief,” said John. Now, John was ready to wrestle a grizzly bear. He knew one bear that was as tough as him. Big Mike. So John set out to find Big Mike. He finally found him in Maine. John challenged Big Mike to a fight. He accepted the fight. It was a tough fight, but John won. Now he thought that he was ready to join the cowboys. John practiced and practiced until he was as good as Pecos Bill. He could lasso a cow that was one mile away. One day, John was walking through Maine and Pecos Bill suddenly appeared. John challenged Pecos Bill to see who could lasso the most cows in one minute. Pecos Bill accepted the challenge.

“Ready, get set, GO!” yelled Pecos Bill. They lassoed and lassoed. Finally, one minute was over. John had lassoed 31 cows, and Pecos Bill had lassoed 30 cows. It was close, but John had won. John grew up to be a great cowboy. Now, people know him far and wide.