Jim Melon

 

 

          “Yeah!” yelled the proud new mother of a baby boy. “I will name him Jim, Jim Melon. Can’t wait to go home and show the family!”

They Arrived home and everyone loved Jim .He was as cute as a poor little innocent bunny. He was just an ordinary child until at the age of three when he said his first words. They were not ordinary first words like, “mom” or “dad” but what he said was a little different.

        “Hey Mom!” exclaimed Jim, “I’m leavin’ home!”

        “What?!” Questioned Jim’s mom, “To do what? You’re only three!”

        “I’m going to become a sailor and show off my super strength! From now on, not only will people call me a child prodigy, I will be known as Jim, the greatest sailor in the history of history!”

        “I must be dreaming, you don’t have super strength!”

         “Come On mom. You haven’t noticed me recently pulling Grandma

off of the couch when she fell asleep on my side? And lifting up the flat screen TV when I lose my rattle?”

        “Ohhh? I was wondering why Grandma was sleeping on the floor.”

        “Well mom, I guess I’ll see you when I’m 30”

        “Noooo!” Cried his mom as he walked out the door. “He’s only three! He’s too young to be a sailor. If he’s not even allowed to cross the street, then how will he survive crossing the ocean in a boat! Life is so not fair.”

 

        At the age of four, Jim had found the perfect sailor crew. He thought that he was so tough because he was the youngest sailor on the face of the Earth, until he met face to face with Jimmy Jack the demented sailor.

        “Hey punk!” yelled Jimmy Jack. “Yeah I’m talkin’ to you! You little pipsqueak! You think you can beat me up? You just try!”

        “Oh yeah! For your info, I’m just slightly smaller than a normal four year old, and I can beat you up in the blink of an eye,” replied Jim.

        “Oh Yeah? Let’s fight!”

        The fight was on. As we all know, Jim was as strong as 5 giants and as intelligent as10 computers, but in this case, he was as strong as 10 Heavyweight champions, and had cat like reflexes, so Jimmy Jack didn’t stand a chance. The fight was long over and Jim was victorious. But he still wanted more of a challenge. Jim quit being a sailor and went off to live a wrestling life with all of the world’s greatest wrestlers. After all of the training they gave him, he eventually won every match. By this time Jim was about 30 and had already beaten Jimmy Jack, and almost all of the world greatest wrestlers.

Jim decided that he had too much excitement in his life and just like he said when he was three he went home to his mom. At first she didn’t recognize him, but soon she realized that eh was Jim, her son that she had missed for too long.

        “So Jim how was your journey?” Asked his mom.

        “Spectacular! I fought this guy named Jimmy Jack the demented sailor, and I won! He was as weak as a cockroach. Then I quit being a sailor and became a wrestler and wrestled Big Show, Kan, The Boogyman, and lots more. It was so cool! Although The Boogyman was kinda gross. He smashed a clock on his head and ate worms.”

        “Well I’m glad you had a good time, but it’s great to have you home,” said his mom.

        In the end, Jim lived a happy life with his new wife and two children.

But one thing he always looks back at but still never believes is that he, at the age of four, beat the greatest sailor in history, Jimmy jack the demented sailor.